Anniversaries

Anniversaries: We all have them. It is the marks in time that we look back on and remember an event. It could be the time you moved into your own home, it could be a wedding, it could be when you quit a habit, and sadly it could be when you maybe lost a love one. Regardless of what makes it an anniversary, we all have one. That moment in time, when time itself seemed to stop and our memory was forever marked with that date. Do you have anniversaries? Ones you share with family and friends? Ones that you share privately with yourself and God. I have a very important anniversary coming up and every time of year when it approaches I have such mixed emotions. I have learned to celebrate them and embrace them. It is just a little over a month away. The date was July 17th, 1995. My life was exactly how I wanted it and I was completely in control. I laid down for a nap and when I woke up, my life changed for ever. In a blink of an eye as the saying goes. I was admitted to the hospital that evening and in less then 24 hours I had to make decisions, I pray no one ever has to make. I went from working a full time job and living life as I wanted it , to laying in a bed unsure when my feet would ever touch the floor again. I remained hospitalized for 3 months. I developed a blood clot that has left permanent damage. I will not take time to retell my story, God has been having me do that more and more lately and I praise Him for it. I am scheduled to tell it again this Sunday to our youth and would greatly appreciate your prayers. I don't mind speaking, I love it actually, it is the time between now and then that makes me nervous. My story has a wonderful ending. Through all the ups and downs and twists and turns, I have two beautiful daughters who are such a blessing to me and my husband. That made it all worth it. But you know there is something that came out of the experience that I will never forget and that is why the anniversary is so special. You see, when I had everything I ever wanted taken from me and all that was left was just me and God, I realized that is more than enough. More than anything this world can and will offer. I realized life is short, I control nothing and I own nothing. He controls all things and owns all things. He has given me free will yes, but He still is in control. I have learned to not hold onto "things so tightly" anymore. I have learned to trust Him for what He feels is best, even if His best for me is not what I think I want because at the time it looks hard or difficult.

When this date approaches every year I am thankful of a life changed and what God did to get me to see that while He died for me and saved me, He also wanted a relationship with me. I was in relationship with things of this world and thought that is what brought me happiness. I couldn't have been more wrong or blind. As I prepared for this week to share, it brought up many memories and so I think that is why I felt today's post needed to be about this topic. Do you have a time in your life that you remember an event from the past. Each time you write that date you are taken back in time? For me, I am reminded if He could do that then, I know He can do this now. Not only was my life changed, but I was able to see miracles happen. Our daughters were given a 10% chance to live and that most likely would have been with birth defects and issues. Those same sweet babies have grown into adults who have nothing wrong. When I see them laugh and enjoying life, my mind drifts back to a time when I felt so scared and alone. I had to decide which one I wanted to live and which one may possibly die. I had to decide to listen to the doctors advice and stay in bed and doing nothing for weeks and months. I had to turn them over to God and trust His plan was perfect. Even if that meant holding them while they took their first and last breaths in my arms. I didn't know how things would work out. I had to trust day by day and sometimes hour by hour. You may be doing the same right now with a situation in your life. I had to come to a place that I trusted and accepted whatever outcome He felt was best. It was by far the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. My story ends well, but I had to accept that it may not. That my friend is true peace. Being willing to accept the circumstances that are out of our control and finding joy in them. The Apostle Paul wrote about these types of things many, many times. I pray you are enjoying your anniversaries and finding peace in the difficult ones. 

One final thought, as my anniversary comes around I often find time that day to look back on the pictures and the memories. I believe God wants us to do those types of things and share our stories with others. The children of Israel were to keep telling each generation the miracles He had performed. They were to pass that down. It only takes one generation to break the cycle and we see that happening in the Old Testament, how they would walk away from God and then one would rise up that would turn them back. I want to encourage you to share with your family and friends the good things He is doing in your life as well as the struggles He is helping you through. We need to encourage one another and remind each other the good things He has done. Day by day, one way or another we will get through.

With our daughters blessings, I have included some pictures for you to see. Celebrate with me a good thing He has done!

This was taken when they were 7 days old. The item in front of them was a large pen. Helps you see the size we were dealing with.

A year later.....

 Now, all grown up into the beautiful women God had planned from day one. I am honored to be their mom and I can't wait to see what God has planned. He already knows, I just get to enjoy it while it unfolds.